By Sadia Rauf
It’s interesting to note the ‘changing face’ of music.
I grew up hearing the music years before actually seeing it. The most I ‘saw’ of it was on Top of the Pops and sometimes that wasn’t a good thing because that is how I discovered that Tracy Chapman was indeed a woman with a man’s voice and a female name.
Of course, as with all things commercial and celebrity-ish, our lives are now ruled by reality shows and the real… well… lives of the not-always-so-rich but nevertheless famous individuals. I do think it’s vicious at some level to ‘label’ these people, but if they are putting themselves out there, surely they can’t expect us to un-opinionated-ly glaze over their existence?
I am here to openly, unabashedly judge. I will try to go against my nature and be kind. But some promises can only be half-kept.
Hadiqa Kiani: Superwoman
Pel told us she was all things rolled into one. The vixen, the angel, the diva, the girl-next-door and I can’t recall what else. But fret not, because on she went to become the local Angelina Jolie in the making (okay – it is a commendable thing to adopt a child; genuine points for this). Then she supposedly continued to sing in a way that made even me believe that I could go on stage with Bono instead of Mary J. Blige. And now, she’s out with a record and – breathe – her very own salon. Indeedy. While she flits about the world being superwoman, super mom, super singer – she has also decided to offer us her ‘makeup and styling’ skills. Strangely enough, I suddenly find her boring. I would call her a case of ‘too much of too little’.
Junaid Jamshed: Crispy Sermoniser
Yeah, shoot me. But I can’t come to terms with a man talking about divine powers and endorsing crisps at the same time – even if it is to abate haram/halal rumours. It’s not as though I was a Vital Signs fan, but I was a product of my surroundings whilst growing up – hence that music reached my ears – hence that preppy image is engraved in some dark corner of my mind. And it was with that image that I stepped into his clothing store, judged each outfit, and it was also with that image that I nodded in realisation that yeah, this man does it only for the money and not the passion. I’m not one to question if he found his Lord or not, but I do wonder at the genuinity (it’s not a word but then neither was ‘Talkshawk’ – ok?) of everything he does. If Lay’s tells me it didn’t pay him to endorse its product – I might actually be nice enough to the point of not having an opinion about him at all.
Ali Zafar: Traitor!
Sure, people switch to more lucrative endorsements. He is not the first one to do it and he won’t be the last. But I don’t trust him now. And trust is so important when it comes to buying a performer’s music. He jumped ship. He sold out. He convinced us all that he loved Telenor so much that he was prepared to risk his life prancing atop moving trains while shouting out heartfelt slogans – and then – the next thing we know, he’s sitting in the competitor’s lap. I feel like he cheated on us. He went with the ‘other woman’ and he hasn’t been very nice about it, what with making all those snide comments in the new Jazz commercials. Even though we don’t believe that celebrities actually care about the product, we like to believe that we do believe. It’s still betrayal.
Atif Aslam: Poster for overexposed loser
That’s all I can say about him. Any attention paid to him is too much attention.
Click here to view the Clear Mens ad featuring Atif Aslam.
I could go on. But you are tired of me already. I know, I know.
Sadia Rauf can be reached at sadia.rauf@gmail.com
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